Tuesday, 10 March 2015


Just a few totally unconnected thoughts...

Two days to go, then it's time to say bye-bye Germany, halo Malaysia! Weirdly, I think I am not quite as excited as I should be? Don't get me wrong, I know this is a great experience and I am grateful for doing this. Also, I have earned it, since I worked for the money I now spend for and within those 4 weeks of sunshine. But still, I do not constantly daydream about the trip or am filled with excitement like my two travel buddies are. I kind of feel guilty about this. But, I guess, the excitement will come when I finally get on board of the flight, right? It must.

A few weeks ago I signed up for a NIKE 10k in Berlin. I know. I must be nuts. I rarely master running jogging 4k at a time. But my sister hyped me into doing it and I thought: well, if it get's me into taking fitness more seriously, as in, going for a run/do cardio at least 3x a week, then that's great!
But right now, I can't see myself crossing that finish line in June.. If there weren't these 4 weeks in Malaysia when I probably won't run at all due to the heat, humidity and my complete lack of sense in orientation, then I'd say: sure, I'll make it. There'd be enough free time on my hands to train. But only two months to get from not even 4k to 10k? I don't know..

Yesterday, I once more had to internalise: fuck boys who don't appreciate you (not literally, thank you). You on your own are so cool and original and perfectly imperfect, you are great and you do not need anyone to rate your value in any way. Haters be hatin' and boys be boyin', I guess.

I really need to learn not to reflect my bad mood phases on others. Some times I just need to be on my own and when I can't be alone in those moments I tend to get quite grumpy. But (in most cases) it is not the other person's fault so I should not act like it was. In the future I will really try and keep my shit together and stop pissing people of because I somehow managed to get pissed off all by myself.

Wednesday, 11 February 2015

IWearWhat ?

Only 4 weeks left until a certain plane leaves for Malaysia.. With me on it, holy shit. The less days between me and that flight the more realistic this all gets.
So, naturally, the question of all questions is popping up: What to wear when in Malaysia?

The difficult thing is, that over there you're supposed to cover most of your skin, knee- and elbow lenghts. If you're super correct about it. Unfortunately, since the temperatures are going to variate between 23 to 32°C or so, that is gonna be a problem. I am not one to pull out my shortest shorts with butt cheeks casually hanging out, wearing crop-top-only with the most cleavage possible showing, but still, shorts in knee-lengths? No, not really. 
Frustrated and confused as I was, I turned to Polyvore for some style inspiration. Now it took much longer than usually for me to create an outfit I really liked, but I think I didn't do all too bad in the end. 
So now there is only one more very important question left.. 
How do you not overpack when backpacking?

Malaysia 3

Malaysia 2

Malaysia 2 von wandahmvmstrappy flats enthaltend

Malaysia 1
***Already too short?***
Malaysia 1 von wandahmvmblue shorts enthaltend

Has anyone of you ever been backpacking or to Malaysia in general before and would like to share any traveling tips? Also, how did you manage that whole skin-covering-up thing? 

Cheers to first world problems,
Traveling lightly,
And Malaysia, duh.

Thursday, 5 February 2015

I Nike You

Over the last few days weeks I have purchased quite a few goodies via my good friend the Internet, because what else to do on those rainy cold winter afternoons?
My greatest love has to have become the NIKEs whose immense wooing I have finally given in to. There was a huge sale going on so naturally I could not resist. Once again accepting how I have no self-discipline at all, I indulged in this sweet yet devious feeling of having saved so much money while still having spent way too much.
But a penny saved is a penny earned they say, so that's my device.
Also, these lovelies will do great work when worn to death in Malaysia.
They're super light, super super comfy and look good with almost everything. Even naked, can you believe it? Not that I've tried...

Beauties, right?! So, that's it with the first of a few posts to come about some of my current and newest babes (still referring to clothes, just to be clear. sob-sob.) 
Until then,

Cheers to winter sales,
Finding love in shoes
And no regrets
At all. 

Sunday, 18 January 2015

Something Only We Know

So, since the 14th of January it's official: I'm an applicant for university in Scotland. St. Andrews, Edinburgh and Aberdeen are my choices. The first two have an excellent reputation and are wonderful unis, the third one.. well, when I visited Aberdeen I really liked the uni itself, but the city? Ugh. It had a weird aura, kind of like a ghost town or something. Pretty grey, all in all.
The beach was amazing, though (I always fall for good beaches). So I included Ab (I'm all for cool, casual abbrevations, you see) in my application. Also, I kind of hope that they will actually make me an offer, since St. Andrews and Ed probably are not going to. 
I don't want to sound pessimistic here, just realistic. I don't have bad grades, but they want fabulous ones. A little too late for that now, isn't it? I can only hope that my personal statement will blow them away, along with the reference I got from a good old teacher of mine from boarding school (I have no idea what he put in there, fingers crossed it's mind-blowingly good).

I guess the reason I am writing all of this on here is that I don't want to tell all my friends about the whole application thing (some of them vaguely know I intended on doing it, only one knows I went through with it). I don't want them to ask every now and then: "soooo, did you get accepted, yet?", because first, this would make me even more nervous than I already am and secondly, when at some point I will eventually have to tell them that "nope, I did not get in", I don't want to see their pity-faces and "uhh" and "ahhs" and "but nevermind, a lot of good students don't get in". 
It's enough to then have to tell that to myself over and over again...

On the other hand, I really do know that I shouldn't care all too much about the outcome, because in case of a refusal I can still go on studying here and that's OK, too (only that I would really like not to settle with just OK). 
Anyhow, so now that you know (the two of you -max.- who are actually reading this post.. eventually), fingers crossed please, it's the thought that counts.

Cheers to spilling your heart on the Internet,
(pause for some self-pity)
The beautiful Scotland,
And aiming for the impossible.

Saturday, 10 January 2015

Hakuna Matata, Now Pack Your Bags

expecting nothing less.
Yesterday, a good friend of mine and I finally sat together to discuss something I am very excited about. This March the two of us and another friend are leaving for a 1-month backpacking trip through Malaysia (or Thailand, still pondering).
Although I love traveling, I actually haven't done as much of it yet as I would have liked to. After finishing school I had considered doing some work and travel through Australia, but chicken-hearted as I am, I dropped that thought and went straight to uni. I simply never felt at ease at the thought of being in a far-away country and not prepared enough for what will happen to me. I love planning things and knowing my stuff before I go do something even remotely adventurous and I never had the feeling I could prepare enough for something as exciting and new to me as backpacking.
And I really hate dislike that part of me, I mean being careful and all is not bad, but I am such an overthinker in all parts of my life that it often hinders me to do things that actually could turn out to be really great for me.
So now I decided it's time for me to suck it up and live for once. Malaysia/Thailand, here I come. We still need to do a bit quite a lot of planning (booking the flights, first of all..) and right now I'm really looking forward to the experience while trying to supress every scary thought that pops up in my head like what if we get robbed/lost/fight all the time/get an awful disease or something (told you: overthinker). But, so many people have done this stuff at my age and even younger, and there's always that first time, right?
So, everything's gonna be alright. Hakuna Matata, and all.

Do you have any experience with backpacking? Or have traveled to Thailand/Malaysia and got a good calming story to tell? Any tips you can share with the sissy me over here?
I'd really appreciate that!

Cheers to taking chances,
Facing your fears
And white beaches ...

Thursday, 8 January 2015

ZEN, Please.


OK, so yesterday I went to a local ballett studio for a yoga trial-session (actually I ran since I was way too late, perfect pre-workout). I had done some classes every now and then before, but oh. my God. This was excruciating. My shoulders burned, my wrists ached, my ankles trembled.
Jesus, every inch of my body was on fire. And during all those painful, intense seconds and minutes that felt like hours and days of holding ridiculous not-possibly-for-humans-created poses, the only thought I could form in my head was: "No. fucking. way am I going to come back (speaking of, that one hurt, too) for this."
Then, when class was over (thank you jesus), after having had one of those very relieving and relaxing little naps on the yoga map (you know, the ones where you're told to "feel your toes get lighter" and stuff), I crawled strutted out of the room and directly towards the office to sign up for the course.
"Um, what? Self-contradictory, much?", you may say now. Yeah, that's what I thought, my friend.
But, you know what? Those 60 minutes of painful(l) self-inflicted violence actually triggered a certain ambition that even I happen to contain somewhere deep inside me. I actually want to, some day, get to the point where I can do all of these fricking yoga poses and be all zen about it and super relaxed instead of biting my shirt trying to suck it up and suppress the need to curse and scream my heart out (as I felt that was not the appropriate way to handle the situation).
I really want to gain more control over my body, become at peace with my self, and also super sexy and flexible. So yes, I signed the contract and next wednesday I'll be back in the suffering game, again. High five on that!

Also, by the way, I signed up for a (beginners) ballett class at that studio. I am super excited for that, first class starts today and I can't dance ballett at all. Actually, I did it back in the days, at the age of 6 or so. Unfortunately, the only thing I vaguely remember from that was how, when I got my hair cut super short, I refused to go back there until it would have grown back. So my mother simply signed me out. Tragic, I know. What a sudden and unexpected decease of my glorious-to-be ballet-career that was. But I am working on that come-back now, as you can see.
So fingers-crossed for me, everyone!

Cheers to zen people (kudos to you),
strong ambitions and high-set goals,
and also, to chocolate fondue
(had some yesterday after class.
It was a tough day, OK?).

Sunday, 4 January 2015

The Break-Up Note.

Every end is a new beginning.

Dear Internet,

Let me tell you a little something about myself.
I love reading. Sadly, that does not mean I read as often as I should, anymore. 
When I was younger, people had to surgically remove me from my book at times (figuratively spoken - I'm fine, thanks for your concern) to get me to eat/speak/interact in any sort of way. That must have stopped around the time.. oh right, the time I met you. 

Internet, o Internet, love of my life, 
My moon, my sun and stars. 
My doom. 
You taught me so much, you always find ways to make me laugh, 
Boredom never exists when I'm with you. 
But you know what? 
You also take my money, you overwork my back, 
You redden my eyes, you make me a wreck. 
(Also, you give me an awful shock whenever you suddenly disappear due to another WIFI time-out.) 

So I now and hereby vow to reduce our quality time together immensely. I just need to set priorities, you know. And one priority of mine has become the need to read more books. 
Books, your nemesis, I know, I know, darling. But please, relax. It does not mean we're over. We can still meet, casually. Believe me, it definitely is not you, it is me. Sorry, my friend. I did not intend to cause you pain.
It's just that....
The last few days I finally got to meet a very special book, Les Miserables it was. Love at first read, that's what it was. Its style of writing, its brilliant storyline, its momentous message. It was simply too sexy for me to resist. It got me drunk with words, longing for more. It made me thirsty.
So I ordered two more books (via amazon, see, I'm still with you, at times). My heart pounds faster at the thought of all those precious books I am about to devour with my eyes, caress with my fingers. 
I know they will give me a lot. A lot that you just can't give me, anymore.
O Internet, you very old and steady companion of mine, as much as I value you, I value my happiness more. I love you, but I love me more (high five to Samantha Jones at this point). I for now leave you with this note. You're not first in my heart anymore, but don't you worry, that does not mean farewell.
After all, we can still be... friends.

With my best wishes for you I remain,
Yours sincerely, the ex-you-addict.

Cheers to tumblr,
youtube, asos, amazon,
tubeplus and so many more.